Love Potion No 9
by Jessa4865
Summary: A night out with the girls has some interesting ramifications. JackSam.
1. Chapter 1

Love Potion #9  
Jezyk  
Spoilers: As far as I'm concerned, the show stopped somewhere short of Heroes, so anything prior to that is fair game.  
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just taking them out for some fun. I'll put them back when I'm done. Promise.

Jack/Sam… as always

_AN: This is not supposed to be a serious story, so don't expect that all the characters will behave entirely like themselves or that the situations contained herein even remotely resemble situations in which you or I might ourselves. So, if you're interested in an amusing story and have the capacity to suspend disbelief, keep reading!_

_AN2: With any luck, this will not become another epic. Although, I do realize that I claim that every time._

Chapter One

As Sam got dressed, she wondered exactly what the hell had possessed her to agree to the evening. A friend of hers from the Academy was in town, a friend with whom she had only barely managed to keep in the vaguest hint of contact over the years. Sam would have happily agreed to lunch or dinner and had a great time catching up with outspoken, outgoing, particularly boisterous Diane. But it just so happened that Diane had gone to high school with Janet and when Diane realized that Sam and Janet were friends, the peaceful lunch Sam had been expecting turned into girls' night out.

Sam wasn't much of a drinker or a party girl, so she anticipated a miserable evening in shoes that hurt sitting sullenly next to a despondent Janet in a smoky, stinky bar while flirtatious Diane had a wonderful evening. Because Sam had done it before, without Janet, and found that personality more than made up for looks, or perhaps that an odd, scientifically detached personality seriously detracted any bonus points Sam's beauty might have earned her.

It was impossible to refuse Diane's excitement over the evening and so Sam got dressed in her uncomfortable shoes and waited for her friends to arrive.

The bottom dropped out of her stomach when she saw the limo. Diane wasn't one for moderation and Sam hadn't expected that she'd changed any in twenty years, but a limo was beyond what Sam had considered possible. She wondered if she could get away with playing sick. With the flips her stomach was doing at the idea of how many people would stare at them, it wouldn't even have been a lie. Still, Sam knew better and met them halfway up the walk.

"Oh, no, you don'! Get back inside and find something appropriate!" Diane's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Christopher, we'll be a few minutes. Sit tight!" The driver smiled widely at Diane, already sucked in by her charm.

Sam's eyes darted to Janet's, the person she hoped would stick up for her. Unfortunately, Janet was wearing an impossibly short, impossibly tight mini-skirt in an obnoxiously red pleather. Janet grimaced. "She got it out of Cassie's closet."

Sam laughed outright. "I would have thought she got it out of 1984."

Knowing she wasn't going to win, Sam let the pair in her house, thanking her lucky stars that she didn't have a teenage daughter with a closet for Diane to raid. She griped about not seeing anything wrong with the light blue sweater set and black pants she was wearing, especially since she'd already made a concession to Diane's style requirements and was wearing high heels that made her taller than most men, but she only did so half-heartedly. Diane was like a female Daniel on speed. There was no point in arguing because she would wind up losing or injured.

Diane looked through Sam's closet three times before she turned back to Sam. "Ok, where's the good stuff?"

Having always been a tomboy, Sam's feminine side rarely had the chance to buy her the sort of clothes Diane might consider good. Sam smiled proudly, motioning at the outfit she had on. "This is it."

Diane wasn't impressed. "What do you wear on dates?"

Sam ignore Janet's giggle. "This."

Diane was dismayed. "You wear the same outfit on every date?"

Sam was starting to feel stupid which wasn't a quality most people could bring out in her. "I don't really go on that many dates."

Diane smiled. "Did it ever occur to you that it's because you wear the same lame outfit every time?"

Janet was giggled again and Sam put her hands on her hips. "There's a bar in the limo, isn't there?"

Diane nodded, but she wasn't distracted by Sam's attempt. "You can't go like that."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Sam doubled checked her reflection in the mirror. She thought she looked nice; it was certainly a step up from the fatigues she'd prefer to wear.

"Are you going to a PTA meeting tonight?"

Sam looked at Janet, whose face revealed that she'd gone through the same conversation an hour earlier resulting in the non-Janet attire she was donning. Sam shook her head. "No, Diane, I don't have any kids."

"Then why are you dressed for a PTA meeting? Unless you're trying to pick up single fathers."

Sam took a deep breath. "The limo's waiting and I'm not trying to pick up anyone. Let's go."

Janet sat down on Sam's bed, letting Sam know exactly who she thought was going to win. "Give it up, Sam."

Sam looked at her, thinking of how much more inappropriate a skirt like Janet's would look on her given the height difference. "Never."

Diane sighed. "I thought you said you don't go on many dates."

"I did say that."

"So why aren't you trying to pick someone up?"

Sam's first instinct was to point out that she had someone, sort of, although it was hardly a relationship. It took her a moment to come up with something else, something that wouldn't result in lots of questions and teasing about Jack. "Because then I'll need something to wear on dates and we've already established that I only have one outfit."

Diane was not a dumb woman. She noticed Sam's hesitation. She noticed the slight flush on Sam's cheeks. She noticed the way Janet was suddenly, deliberately not looking at her. "There's already someone, isn't there?"

Sam knew she was caught. She wasn't a good liar, so she gave the shortest version of the story she could muster. "Yes, but we're not together and we can't be together, so please drop it."

"Married?"

"No."

"Gay?"

"Of course not."

Diane went back to perusing the choices in Sam's closet. "Star-crossed lovers?"

Depressed, Sam sat down on the bed. "Something like that. You know, I'm not really in the mood to go tonight."

Janet smiled at her and then started to giggle. "More like star-crossed coworkers."

Sam glared at her traitorous friend, but she noticed Diane's intrigued expression. Sadly, it appeared that her forbidden, nearly unacknowledged relationship with Jack raised her in Diane's esteem. "Sleeping with the boss, are we?"

Sam's cheeks burned in embarrassment. "No."

Diane caught Janet's giggles. "Oh, but you want to."

"I want to crawl in a hole and die." Sam didn't like being the butt of jokes.

"So what's his name?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Can we go?" Sam was pretty sure a martini was the only thing that would make her feel better about going out, and that was only if she got one within thirty seconds.

Diane closed the closet door and for one glorious, fleeting moment, Sam thought it was over. And then Diane opened her bag, pulling out a shiny piece of fabric. "Nothing you have is acceptable. Good thing I came prepared." She thrust the thing in her hand at Sam.

Sam analyzed what didn't seem much larger than a scarf and determined that it was a skirt. A silly, young-looking black skirt with silver buckles on the side. "Diane-"

"Go." Diane smiled happily and Sam remembered all the fun they'd had together, mostly while doing things Sam would never, ever have thought up alone.

Maybe fun wasn't such a bad thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sam wasn't used to such a short skirt, although it was vaguely reminiscent of a few she'd owned that her father would never let her out of the house in as a teenager. So she figured if she could sneak out a window and climb down a tree in it, she could certainly sit at a bar in it. As soon as she talked herself into a relative level of comfort with the skirt, Diane peeled the cardigan half of her sweater set off, leaving Sam to find a new equilibrium with a short skirt and spaghetti straps.

As if the outfit hadn't done enough damage to her psyche, Diane brandished a bright red lipstick at her. Sam found the strength to refuse that because of her overwhelming desire not to look like she was a working girl. She explained her reasons to Diane, who surprisingly took the refusal well. Janet, on the other hand, was quite dismayed that she hadn't been able to talk her way out of the lipstick and suggested to Diane that Sam needed eyeliner. The fact that Sam was already wearing eyeliner, granted in a respectable brown and a reasonable quantity, didn't deter Diane from attacking Sam with black eyeliner and mascara which she applied excessively. When she was done, Sam's eyes felt heavy from the unfamiliar makeup. Janet was staring at her, seeming to file away the image, as thought it might somehow come up in casual conversation with Jack or Daniel or Teal'c or anyone, really, who took her seriously.

It was a very disgruntled Sam who trailed her friends to the car. Christopher was evidently quite pleased with the change in Sam and couldn't pull his eyes off her exposed legs. Sam glowered at him, sending him scrambling back to his own seat without even closing the door behind her. She was proud of herself for still being able to appear commanding despite her attire. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face - she looked good and she was still in charge. Thankfully, Diane handed her a drink immediately, so the smile didn't even get a chance to fade.

By the time they got to their next stop, Sam had finished two drinks and was giggling right along with her friends. The length of the skirt wasn't bothering her either because she had decided that she worked hard for her figure and she might as well show it off for once. Besides, it wasn't like anyone else ever got to see it. She hadn't been joking when said she didn't have that many dates. She didn't bother because the only man she really wanted to date was absolutely off limits and when it came down to it, no one else could hold a candle to Jack.

Diane had made them reservations for dinner, which thankfully was at a restaurant where the price of the food was purposely obscured by extremely dim lighting. It was a bonus for Sam because while her get-up was marginally acceptable in a bar, it wasn't for anywhere else and the dim lighting helped hide the outfit and the overdone makeup.

They each had a drink during dinner, and at one point, Sam remembered something critical she'd learned during her days of partying until the wee hours with Diane. It was very important that she not be allowed near a telephone. She handed her cell to Janet. "Under no circumstances are you to give that back to me, ok?" Janet nodded, but Sam got the distinct impression Janet wouldn't even try to stop her. And Sam knew, based on previous experience, there was a very good chance she would decide, after several more martinis, that Jack needed to see her in ridiculously flirtatious ensemble and that it would be a great idea to call him and tell him as much.

Diane watched with a smile. "So who is it you don't want to call when you're drunk?"

"No one." Sam figured the less info Diane got, the better. Diane was an officer too and at times the Air Force could be an exceedingly small universe.

"But how can I stop you from calling him if I don't know his name?" Diane grinned. "Let me guess, if you call your boss in the middle of the night, you'll wake the wife and the kids, right?"

Sam sighed and picked at the plate of pasta meant to keep her from making herself sick. "Here's an idea. Don't let me call anyone when I'm drunk."

Diane agreed, but Sam knew that Diane would be drunk too and letting Sam call Jack would seem as brilliant an idea to Diane as calling Jack would seem to Sam. Within seconds, Sam was back to rethinking the whole premise - in the interest of keeping her job and the respect of her friends.

But then the very attractive business men across the room bought their desserts and a round of drinks for them and Sam couldn't help but feel the thrill of Diane's plan. The guys wanted to accompany them, but Diane's goal was to flirt with untold numbers of guys and so she insisted the guys stay behind. Sam agreed with her because one of them kind of looked like Jack and, if she squinted or had a few more drinks, she knew she would see the man she wanted to see.

They climbed in the limo more amused and less coordinated than they normally would have been. Christopher didn't seem to mind and took it upon himself to help them back in. Sam didn't appreciate where his hands wound up helping her, but she knew the alcohol was affecting her judgment and she realized he didn't mean any harm.

As soon as they were settled with another round of drinks and the limo was on the way to the club, Diane pulled a small bag out of her purse. "I have presents!" Diane fished in the bag and pulled out a small jar about the size of a film canister. "Oh, the first one is mine!"

For one nervous, sobering moment, Sam and Janet exchanged glances, fearing that Diane's gifts weren't exactly legal.

Diane held up the bright orange container. "Financial Security Potion." She turned it around in her hand and read the label. "For financial security in the form of a rich husband." Diane giggled and poured the powdered contents into her glass.

Sam and Janet exchanged another glance, wondering which was scarier - that Diane was drinking it or that she thought it might work.

Diane pulled out another jar, purple that time, and grinned. "This one's for you, Janet. It's Popularity Potion for the affection of many lovers."

Sam started to giggle. "I think your skirt already has that market cornered."

Janet giggled as Diane handed her the jar. She was inspecting the ingredient list while Diane brought out Sam's gift.

Diane waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "True Love Potion." Sam rolled her eyes. "No man will be able to resist you."

"Yeah, that's just what I need."

Diane kept reading. "Only your true love will be unaffected because he already loves you." Diane handed it to Sam. "You'll find out if it's really the married guy from the PTA after all."

Sam accepted it, but made no attempt to look at the red bottle. "You don't actually expect me to ingest this, do you?"

Janet dumped hers into her drink. "It's just sugar and food coloring, Sam. It can't hurt you."

"It can hurt my credibility."

Diane pointed out that by refusing it, Sam was hurting her own credibility by revealing her fear that it might really work. Reluctantly, Sam poured it into her drink, watching the clear liquid turn a bright red color.

"I'm only doing this to prove how stupid you both are acting." She took several sips of her drink. It didn't taste any different, but it made her friends smile, which in turn made her smile, which was the point, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Diane and Janet drank their colorful mixtures and the three ladies spent the rest of the ride catching up. Sam decided to slow down because her friends apparently had no intention of doing such a thing. Sam figured one of them should be coherent. Had she been with the boys, she would have felt free to drink all she wanted without giving it a second thought - she and Jack always could since Daniel and Teal'c would never leave them without a ride home.

When they finally reached the club, Sam actually felt like dancing. Christopher had stopped right out front of the door and offered his hand to each of them as they climbed out. His earlier appreciation of Sam hadn't abated any, but she'd had time to think about it and a few more drinks and therefore was more floored by the attention than irritated.

The one unplanned part of Diane's evening was the unbelievable line at the front door. It stretched from halfway down the block and around the corner. Sam's feet instantly began to hurt in protest of standing in heels for as long as it would take for them to get in. Diane looked rather sheepish.

"I heard this was the place to be, but I didn't know it was this popular."

The trio sighed and turned toward the end of the line, ready to join the ranks of the other women who'd all had the same idea. Sam didn't feel so bad about the way she looked anymore because everyone else was wearing the same sort of thing.

But before they could take a step, the bouncer called out to them. "Hey! Wait!" They looked at each other before they looked at him. "Come here."

Diane led the way, eager to redeem herself for not expecting the line. "Are you going to let us in?"

He nodded dumbly, his eyes ratcheted to Sam. "Hi."

Sam smiled self-consciously. "Hi."

The bouncer motioned for them to go right in, ignoring the angry complaints of the others who had been waiting. "I'm Tom."

Diane purposely ignored his tunnel vision for Sam. "I'm Diane. This is Janet."

He didn't even acknowledge them. He reached for Sam's hand, kissing the back of it in a terribly outdated show of affection. "What's your name?"

Sam snatched her hand back. "Sam." Without another glance, Sam pushed her friends inside. Tom's behavior freaked her out, but at least he'd allowed them inside. It was loud and crowded inside, giving Sam the perfect excuse to pretend she didn't hear Diane's comment about the potion working.

Sam stepped up to the bar, edging her way through the crowd. Everyone was trying to catch the eye of the bartenders. And if Sam was judging the men's well-built bodies in tight t-shirts and low riding jeans correctly, the ladies weren't just looking for drinks. Sam studied the young, excited faces around her and decided she'd be waiting a long while. She also decided she was quite happy that she'd fallen in love with Jack the way she had and no longer had to compete for the attention of a man.

And then a gorgeous man was right in front of her, smiling and staring and paying no attention to the women around her who were interested in far more than drinks and had even skimpier clothing on. "Hi!"

Sam couldn't resist glancing at Janet. Janet was smiling and Sam suspected she was drying to burst out laughing at her. Sam turned back to the bartender. "Hi."

"You're beautiful." The man's comment was immediately followed by a hysterical peal of laughter Sam knew was Janet.

It took Sam a moment to compose herself as her friends dissolved into giggles. Sam decided to ignore the comment. "I'm thirsty."

The man just stared at her for a moment. Then his eyes lit up as though with an unexpected, brilliant idea. "I'm a bartender! I can get you a drink!"

Sam started to laugh herself. "Good idea. Three martinis, please." As Sam spoke, she tried not to see how interested the other bartenders were in her words. Her eyes widened as all four of them reached for bottles as soon as she spoke her request. She watched in horror as they scuffled for the martini shaker, each one apparently quite set on being the one to help her. The first bartender who'd talked to her pulled his arm back to punch one of the others and she had to intervene.

"Hey!" Much to her surprise, all four men and half the club stopped talking and froze. "No fighting."

Diane smiled. "Yeah, we'll be here a while, so you can all have a turn making us drinks."

Feeling embarrassed, Sam reached for the drinks the first bartender made. "We'll start with these." She handed Janet and Diane their glasses and reached into her purse for cash. "How much?"

A man elbowed his way past Janet and put his hand on Sam's. "I'll take care of it."

Sam shook her head. The man wasn't even slightly attractive and he smelled like he spent way too much time in a bar and not enough in a shower. She didn't want to be indebted enough to him to have to have a conversation. "No, it's fine." She caught the bartender's eye, which wasn't hard because he was staring at her. "What do I owe you?"

The bartender smiled. "It's on the house."

Shrugging, Sam grabbed her drink and turned away. There were no seats at the bar, but it was too busy there anyway. Unfortunately, the other tables, few that there were, were full as well. Sam was resigned to standing up and leaning against a wall, if she could even find space to do so.

Janet, emboldened by the drinks, had another idea. She walked over to a table of six guys crowded around a small table built for a third of their number. "Hi." They looked up, as men in clubs tend to do when attractive women in shorts skirts approach them. Janet nodded toward Sam. "My friend wants to sit down."

Sam was mortified by the act alone and felt comforted slightly by chugging half the martini in her hand.

Sam was flabbergasted when all six of the men jumped to their feet and offered their seats to Sam.

Diane was hysterical, laughing at Sam and the men. Janet was rather surprised it had worked, but the surprise didn't stop her from laughing too. And Sam, well, she was looking at six eager faces. She smiled awkwardly.

"No, it's ok."

The men tripped over each other to vacate the table, each one assuring her that they really, really wanted her to sit down.

Sam reluctantly sat down, but she told herself it was only so she wouldn't fall over when she gulped down the rest of her drink. She glared at her amused friends. "This isn't funny."

Janet bit into the olive on the little plastic sword in her drink. "I beg to differ, Sam."

Diane giggled. "I'm pretty sure this is the definition of funny." Diane pulled the olive free and flicked it at Sam. "I can't say I actually expected the love potion to work!"

Sam looked at her empty glass and wanted another one very, very badly. She spotted the group of six still watching her, hovering near the table. She looked at Janet and Diane and smiled. "I'm going to prove it doesn't work." She held her empty glass out at the guys. "Somebody get me a drink and don't you dare expect me to pay for it."

Sam was not at all pleased when one of them actually did it.

And she was not at all pleased that he had to shove five of his buddies out of the way to be the one to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It was with a fairly large amount of regret that Sam accepted the drink Mike, as he was so very happy to inform her, brought her. He stood by, probably expecting an invitation to join her, but Sam didn't even look at him. She was glaring at Janet and Diane, who were having the time of their lives making fun of her.

"This is precisely why I don't walk around half naked with too much makeup on." Sam stabbed at her olive maliciously. "I'd rather attract attention through my work."

Diane shrugged. "Yeah, but this way is easier."

Janet giggled and leaned forward. "Imagine how much attention you'd attract if you wore that to work."

Sam glared, knowing exactly whose attention Janet was referring to. "I do fine playing along as one of the boys." She'd always told herself that being a tough, hard-to-crack tomboy was one of the reasons Jack liked her. She didn't like he'd really go for the frilly type.

Diane's eyes lit up. "I bet your boyfriend would really like it." She snickered and exchanged glances with Janet. "Especially since he never gets to see you out of uniform, being your CO and all."

Sam had long ago realized that the effects of large quantities of alcohol worked like truth serum on her, so since she couldn't deny that the man she was interested in was her CO, she disputed something else. "I don't have a boyfriend."

Janet nodded. "Regardless, Jack would still love to see you looking like that."

"So his name's Jack, is it?" Diane sipped at her drink nonchalantly and Sam waited for the other shoe to drop. The wheels in Diane's head were turning and Sam was praying they wouldn't click. "It's not Jack O'Neill, is it?"

Sam closed her eyes and tried to make herself disappear. When that didn't work, she opened them and frowned at Janet. "I'm going to hurt you."

Diane looked impressed. "You managed to catch his eye, did you? Good for you. That man is gorgeous."

The truth serum surged through Sam's veins and she couldn't stop herself. Fire burned in her eyes as she turned on Diane. "How the hell do you know the Colonel?"

Janet tried to keep a straight face, recognizing the hurt in Sam's face, but she couldn't stop the giggles that escaped. "Sam, I don't think Diane actually knows him. She probably just knows of him."

Diane sat back with a contented smirk on her face, getting an emotional reaction out of Sam was a pretty rare thing indeed. "A little possessive, are we? Did he cheat on you?"

Now Sam's normal response would have been to remind everyone that she wasn't with Jack and therefore any relationships he may or may not have had would hardly be considered cheating, but Sam had been drinking and, if she were being honest, she was a little touchy over the whole Jack situation anyway. Because she really had no right to be jealous. Because there was no legitimate reason Jack couldn't see any woman he wanted. Because she would have no excuse to get territorial about him if he did. But she'd be damned if she wasn't good and jealous anyway and the problem with Sam being jealous and drunk was that she tended to read more into Diane's statement than she would have otherwise. The alcohol didn't just make her honest. It turned her into a silly, insecure girl.

Her eyes were riveted to Diane's face. "What have you heard?" Again, Sam told herself that even if Jack was dating someone, there was no reason Diane would know about it, but rational wasn't her strong suit when she was drunk, which was one of the very good reasons she tried to avoid being drunk. "Is he involved with someone?"

Janet giggled more at Sam's anxiety, knowing Sam was only feeling like that because of the alcohol and not because of deep-seated insecurity. "Sam, can you send one of your boys for a refill?"

"Yeah, me too." Diane tried Sam's move of holding her drink out to the side. "Can I get a refill, please?" No one responded. "Sam, it was a joke. Seriously, I've heard his name before. It's no big deal."

Sam felt like an idiot and was actually glad to be able to turn to the guys who were staring at her. One of them was almost attractive, but more importantly, he was taller than her, even in her heels. She tried to smile seductively and wound up giggling at herself because she felt stupid.

Undaunted, she stood up and approached him. "Do you want to dance?" Sam wasn't a very good dancer, but it served two purposes - it apparently made the man's night and it got her away from her friends.

Diane and Janet watched Sam walk away without a word. Diane stood up to take the empty glasses to get refilled. "Is she mad?"

Janet shrugged slowly, as though she didn't wasn't sure she wanted to commit to that answer. "It's really hard to tell with her."

Diane smiled. "Too many years in the military."

Janet nodded and helped herself to Sam's abandoned drink while her own was being refilled. She looked up in surprise when Sam reappeared only a moment later. "What happened?"

Sam glared at the guy who was cradling one hand in the other. "Nothing that won't heal."

It took Diane considerably longer than it had taken Sam to get drinks, but she eventually returned with three bottles of beer. She smiled at the questioning faces. "Easier to carry." She placed one in front of each of them, noticing Sam's injure friend. "Let me guess - he put his hand some place only Jack is supposed to put his hand."

Sam frowned, refusing to admit the idea of Jack groping her, even as unskillfully as the other guy had, was responsible for the flush in her cheeks. "He wouldn't dare because I'd have to inflict serious bodily injury on him." Although, when she allowed herself to think about it, she couldn't imagine Jack's hands ever being so clumsy as to deserve getting smacked. But she shook off the idea because the clumsiness had nothing to do with why she'd twisted the man's hand so hard the bones had nearly broken.

Diane took a long sip from her beer. "Because he's your CO and letting him feel you up would be wrong?"

Janet giggled. "Just because you'd be duty-bound to rebuff him doesn't mean you wouldn't like it."

Diane put her hand over her heart and sighed dramatically. "Your tragic sense of duty is no match for the uncontrollable passion of true love!"

Janet rolled her eyes. "I see you've been reading romance novels again, Diane."

Sam wasn't sure if Mr. Wandering Hands was such bad company after all. "Leave me alone."

Feeling guilty, Janet reached out and patted Sam's hand. "We're sorry. We'll stop."

Diane choked on her beer and spent a moment cleaning her face with a napkin. "Maybe Janet will, but I won't, not until I get all the juicy details. Besides, teasing you is more fun than dwelling on the fact that no one has asked me to dance."

"Maybe they haven't asked you to dance because you look like the sort of person who is mean and spiteful and heartless." Sam did feel bad for her friends because she knew being on the flip side of the too-much-attention coin was even less fun than being fawned over by jerks. She stood up and motioned at the guys who were all too enthusiastic to oblige. "Can you guys hold our table for us?" The men happily sat down like well-behaved puppies, staring at Sam for further instructions, or perhaps, a doggy treat.

Diane took over, tapping the three best looking ones on the shoulder. "You three, come with us. The rest of you, keep our seats warm."

"And you think Sam's spent too much time in the military." Janet wasn't sure Diane heard her mutter until she glared at her. Diane led the group out to the dance floor.

The problem with a flirtatious short skirt and come hither makeup, Sam soon discovered, was that men seemed to think that the flirtatious skirt and come hither makeup meant she was trying to encourage random strangers to do so. She tried to relax and have a good time, especially when she saw that Diane and Janet were having a good time. But one guy after another was vying for her attention and more than once, she found herself sandwiched between two guys who were dancing with her in such a way that she was certain was a felony in several states and caused her to feel rather violated based not on how much physical contact was involved, but on which parts were in contact. She made a few attempts to get off the floor and only found herself surrounded by more guys who thought she was trying to reach them.

In desperation, Sam fought through the crowd and managed to grab Janet's hand before she was nearly swallowed up by the over-zealous men. Janet and Diane, finally aware of Sam's distress, helped her fight through the crowd. Diane stopped at the table that had been vacated by the men who thought she surely left them sitting there because she really wanted to dance with them. Janet hesitated too.

Sam shook her head. "I want to go home." She hadn't even realized quite how upset she was until she had a moment to think and her voice was thick with unshed tears. "I don't want to stay here."

Diane nodded, sympathy and apology written all over her face. "Ok, we'll go."

Janet raised her finger and pointed at the bar. "Um, isn't that Christopher?"

Diane and Sam looked over and, sure enough, there was the trusty chauffeur, smiling at them. The three women dropped unhappily into their seats, contemplating each other. Diane was the first to break the silence. "I'm not from around here, so there's no one I can call."

Sam took a deep breath. She could feel eyes on her, eyes she knew belonged to touchy-feely men she didn't want to be touching and feeling her. At least, the slightly dizzy feeling from having had so much to drink told her she could feel them staring at her. Her desire to escape her throng of admirers outweighed her fear of embarrassment. She held out her hand to Janet. "Give me the phone."

Janet's eyes widened. "I'm not supposed to let you have the phone."

"Do you want a ride home with Christopher?"

Janet actually turned around, double checking that Christopher was really drunk enough to be doing shots and waving at them. "No, not really."

"Then give me the phone."

Janet narrowed her eyes, figuring she could stop Sam from doing anything terribly regrettable. "What are you going to call?"

"Daniel." Sam's hazy brain was sharp enough to know that although Teal'c would be the least likely to accidentally spill her exploits, Daniel knew the city better and would be able to find them faster. And at that moment, faster was a definite advantage.

Janet fished through her purse and handed Sam her phone. "Isn't it late to call him?"

"Can you think of someone better?" Sam didn't wait for Janet to answer. "Besides, he said he was working this weekend, so he's probably still up."

Diane leaned over while Sam was listening to the ringing phone. "Who's Daniel? Is he cute?"

Suddenly it was Janet's turn to blush fiercely while Sam giggled into the phone at a very confused Daniel. Sam fought to get words out while Diane found a new target. "Daniel, I need a ride."

Luckily, Daniel knew better than to ask questions. He took the address that Sam gave him and promised he'd be there in a few minutes.

Unfortunately, the pair forgot two things during their brief conversation. Daniel forgot to mention that Teal'c was assisting him with what he was working on and was extremely intrigued at what could possibly result in Sam needing a ride in the wee hours of the morning. And Sam, well, she forgot to mention that she was apparently an unwilling aphrodisiac to every man who saw her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Diane was curious as to this Daniel character and the odd shyness from Janet. "Again, who's Daniel?"

Sam tried to help, even though Janet had been teasing her all night. "Didn't you just ask that?"

"Yes, and no one answered." Diane raised her eyebrow. "Which says more to me than an answer would have."

Janet was flustered, but she tried to hide it. "He's someone we know from work."

"So, he's military?"

Sam smiled. "No, he's a civilian."

Diane grinned harder. "Is he cute?"

Janet shrugged half-heartedly, not wanting to be teased anymore, but also not wanting to encourage Diane's inevitable flirtation with Daniel. "He's handsome and smart and sweet and kind." She sighed, not even realizing how much of herself she was giving away with her words.

"What's wrong with him?"

The dreamy expression on Janet's face faded as she remembered. "He's in love with his wife."

"Ouch! I can't believe either of you! Sam, with your CO, and Janet, with your married friend!" Diane was truly surprised because of the three of them, she would have thought Janet would be the last one to fall for a married man.

Sam saw her chance to get even for all the teasing. "His wife has been dead for a very long time, Janet. You've got a better chance than you think."

Janet's eyes lit up and Sam giggled.

Diane allowed herself to get distracted from torturing Janet by the thought that Janet's heart was in imminent danger of being broken. "Uh, guys, Daniel's coming here, now."

Sam looked at her. "Yeah, so? He'll get to see Janet in a much shorter skirt than usual!"

"So what if he reacts to the potion the same way all these other guys did?"

Sam hated her clothes and makeup, but she hated even more the idea that a silly jar of powered sugar could be blamed for her evening. "Daniel is not attracted to me, short skirt be damned. He's like my big brother."

Janet giggled. "Besides, even if he was, he'd never say a word."

Diane was thoroughly intrigued, especially by the glare Sam sent Janet's way. "Why wouldn't he?"

Janet looked at Sam, a silent challenge in her eyes.

Sam threw back the rest of her beer. "Because Jack would kick his ass." After she said it, she stared at her beer bottle angrily. It was clearly the bottle's fault that she had said such a thing. It amazed her, in a horrifying, disturbing way, that she had announced something so inappropriate, so unlike her, so true.

A small smile quirked her lips. Jack would absolutely kick Daniel's ass for making a move on her. The beer allowed her the freedom of admitting it. And, for some reason, her honesty resulted in Janet and Diane respecting her wishes not to talk about it.

Diane was the next one to speak, following several long minutes of silence. "I hate to suggest it, Sam, but there are two very hot guys over there and they appear to be headed this way."

Sam, who had been expecting only Daniel, didn't think to fear Diane's remark. She turned to look, startled to meet Teal'c's stare. "Oh, God." She turned back to the table and buried her face in her hands.

"What?" Jane also turned to look, but she was relieved to see the guys. "Oh, good, they're here."

Diane was confused by the disparity in their reactions. "Do we know them?"

Janet nodded, taking a few moments longer than Sam to realize how odd it was that Teal'c was smiling widely at Sam. "That's Daniel and Teal'c."

Sam groaned, but said nothing. She'd really expected better from her friends.

Diane grinned. "So, Sam, it's time for your assessment - is it the magic potion or the miniskirt?"

Sam looked up with narrowed, angry eyes and set her lips in a thin, straight line. "Whichever is to blame isn't the important thing here. The important thing, Diane, is that it's all your fault." She barely got the words out before the two men flanked her, pulling chairs way too close for her liking.

Daniel, ever unintimidating, stretched his arm around her shoulders. "I'm so glad you called me, Sam. It means a lot."

Sam shuttered at the almost lecherous way his words sounded. She leaned away to get his arm to slide from her shoulders and inadvertently wound up encouraging Teal'c's attentions as well. Looking at his goofy smile, she winced. "I didn't know you were coming too."

He smiled harder, an altogether disconcerting expression for Teal'c, and somehow assumed her comment was meant to be a compliment of some sort. "I am most pleased to see you as well this evening."

Sam shook her head and pushed her chair backwards to escape the way both Daniel and Teal'c were leaning in toward her. "Teal'c, I really hope you're above the skirt and makeup bull. Even if-" She glared at Diane's eager grin. "Even if it's something else, I'd have thought you'd be immune to it. I'm quite disappointed."

Daniel gazed at her, making her skin crawl as his eyes moved all over her body. "How could anyone be immune to you, Sam?"

Teal'c's smile was replaced by a frown as he glared at Daniel. "Daniel Jackson, you should be more attentive to Dr. Fraiser. You are obviously making Major Carter extremely uncomfortable."

Daniel nearly growled at Teal'c. "You're the one making her uncomfortable! Sam is used to me being friendly." He turned toward Sam and promptly realized that her shoulders were out of reach. But Daniel was a smart man and not being close enough to put his arm around her wasn't much of a challenge. He simply grabbed Sam's knee instead. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

Sam nearly screamed. Daniel was absolutely the last man she ever expected to hit on her. She almost knocked her chair over in her attempt to get away. "Stay away from me! Both of you!"

She was far too drunk to move or think quickly and as soon as she turned around, she discovered that the other guys, every single one in the club in fact, were waiting for her to do just that. They started to approach her, closing in on the table, and she ducked into the first escape route she saw.

Thankfully, it was the bathroom and it was empty. She turned the lock on the door, made herself a cushion out of several feet of paper towels, and sank down to the floor. She winced each time someone tried the knob or knocked. She wanted to cry as a few dozen different male voices took turns asking if they could help her. She actually did cry when Teal'c and Daniel pounded on the door, demanding that she allow them to take her home.

She tried to calm herself down, but she knew, as strong and as skilled as she was at self-defense, she didn't stand a chance against a bar full of men. She didn't want to think about the fact that it might even extend beyond the confines of the club. The best thing she could think of was to wait until closing time and sneak out, but she feared whoever was closing up would trap her in there.

Sam didn't know what else to do. She wasn't the one who came up with the plans. Digging through her purse, she found her phone and did the one thing she really, really didn't want to do drunk and half naked. She called Jack. Because he was the one who always gave her the brilliant ideas. Because he was the one she believed could defend her against her admirers. Because he was the one she wanted to comfort her after all the upset the night had caused. And, for some silly reason, because she really wanted him to see her drunk and half naked and wearing far too much makeup.

His voice was groggy and he sounded rather confused when he answered. "O'Neill."

Just hearing his voice calmed her down and she immediately regretted calling him because the alcohol induced insecurity assured her that he hadn't answered until the third ring because he was busy snuggling with someone. She couldn't chicken out though, because another guy pounded on the door just then to beg her to let him in. "Sir?" She didn't even recognize the sound of her own voice so small and weak; she was surprised he did.

"Carter?" The sleepy sound was gone and she could imagine him sitting straight up in bed. "Are you ok?"

She obviously wasn't ok, but she didn't want to scare him. "Um, technically, I'm ok. Physically, at least." She realized, after she spoke, that being ok made it not ok to be on the phone to her CO in the middle of the night.

"Carter, it's almost two in the morning." He didn't sound calm. He didn't sound anything.

Her first instinct told her that his blunt, matter-of-fact statement was a reprimand. "I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't have called." She disconnected the call and tried to think of something else to do. But the phone rang right back and she actually felt even dumber for having hung up on him. "Hello?"

"Carter, did you really think I was going to ignore the fact that you called me in the middle of the night and weren't able to tell me if you were ok or not?"

She cursed the alcohol for making her head so fuzzy that she couldn't tell if he was angry or not. She cursed the alcohol for making her head so fuzzy that she couldn't think up a response.

"Carter?" He sounded even more worried than he had when she woke him. "Are you still there? What's going on? Where are you?"

The rapid fire questions overwhelmed her, especially when coupled with another desperate suitor banging on the door. She forgot to disguise how emotionally overwrought she was and answered him with a choked, teary voice. "Will you come get me?"

"Where are you, Carter?"

Silly, drunk Sam answered him honestly. "In the bathroom."

Jack was dead silent as he tried to process her words. "What?"

Another guy, or maybe the same one, started pounding again.

Sam squeaked into the phone. "Please hurry!" She didn't care if she sounded desperate and pathetic. She was desperate and pathetic.

"Carter, what is that noise?"

"Some guy trying to get in."

"In the bathroom?" Jack shook his head and tried harder to understand. "Why is he doing that?"

"I don't know!" Had she been sober, she would have cringed over the whiny sound of her voice, but she was drunk, so she didn't care. "They're all doing it, even Daniel and Teal'c and I just want to go home and I'm trapped and I'm scared and will you please come rescue me?"

For a moment, Jack smiled at her choice of words. "You want me to rescue you?" And then the rest of the words sank in. "Stay on the phone with me. I'm on my way." Motivated by the fear that someone was trying to hurt her, Jack managed to get dressed and in the car and halfway down the street in just over thirty seconds. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure where to drive. "Carter, you still haven't told me where you are and please don't say you're in the bathroom."

"But I am in the bathroom, sir. I'm afraid to go out there."

"Out where?"

"Where the men are."

"And just where are the men?" He was trying not to sound angry, but he hated that Carter was scared and he wasn't there to protect her. And, although most of the conversations he had with her left him scratching his head and in desperate need of cake, he was fairly certain she was being far more confusing than normal.

"Outside the bathroom!" She was back in tears, frustrated by her inability to comprehend why Jack, although apparently willing, wasn't coming to save her.

"Carter, are you drunk?" It seemed a stretch because he'd never seen her so drunk she was hysterical, but then again, she hadn't exactly gotten so drunk that she was hysterical in front of him.

"Yes, but they're still scaring me."

Jack pulled over and took a deep breath. "Where were you when the men started bothering you?"

"I was dancing." She sniffled. "Well, actually, it was before that. I was trying to buy us drinks." She tore a piece of her paper towel cushion off and wiped her nose. "But no, the bouncer was weird too. And those guys at the restaurant were acting really friendly, but that wasn't scary because one of them looked like you. And the driver was weird too, but , the driver was weird even before I drank the potion."

"Potion? Carter, forget being drunk, you're out of your mind!" He didn't know what she was talking about or how he could help her. He'd just reached the conclusion that the only way to help her was to go back to bed and pretend, when she appeared at work on Monday, that she hadn't had a drunken breakdown and called him in tears.

But then she spoke again, in a scared whisper. "Does that mean you won't save me?"

He smiled at the thought of her once again asking for him to help her. "Of course I'll save you, Carter."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Sam was hysterical and that was making him hysterical and both of them being hysterical wasn't going to help either of them. "Ok, Carter, you said you were dancing, so are you in a club?"

She sniffled. "Yes."

"Good. Do you happen to know which club?" Although there was a finite number of clubs in Colorado Springs, it would still be easier to know which bathroom he needed to search.

There was more banging which Sam noticed was having a dramatic effect on the door. It looked like it was about to break free from the wall. She yelped. "They're going to get in here!"

Jack gripped the wheel with all his strength. It would absolutely kill him if he was on the phone listening in while Sam was assaulted. It was just unacceptable that anyone unwelcome get their hands on her. In his book, it was just unacceptable that anyone get their hands on her period, besides him, of course. "Carter, what club?" He knew yelling at her would just upset her more, but he couldn't control the emotion in his voice.

Carter's eyes were wide as she stared at the shaking hinges. The adrenaline response from the fear brought with it one transient moment of clarity. "The Twenty-One Club on Front Street." For some reason that neither Sam nor Jack could quite grasp, her statement was hilarious. At least, Sam thought it was hilarious and lapsed into a fit of giggles.

With a destination, Jack found it much easier to drive frantically through the streets. He wasn't sure what to say to a hysterical, drunk, giggling Sam, so he simply held the phone to his ear in case she needed him. He figured as long as she was giggling, she was ok. After the giggles died out, he could hear her breathing. Again, she seemed ok since she wasn't crying or in any immediate danger. He could hear muffled voices in the background, which apparently belonged to the men scaring Carter.

Every few minutes there'd be a banging, a shout, and an answering yelp or whimper from Sam. But as he listened, he got confused. Because Sam was acting very strangely and some of the shouts sounded like people who legitimately needed to use the bathroom. Something odd was going on and he kind of wanted to know what it was before he walked in on it.

"Carter, why are you afraid of the men?"

"Because they're scary."

He took a deep breath and remembered that he loved Sam very much and that he probably would look back on the conversation someday and laugh and that he most likely didn't actually want to strangle her. "Why are they scary? What do they want?" He was a little afraid that there was one guy, just one, who'd slipped something into Sam's drink and was aiming on taking advantage of her. He could rationalize her behavior if she were drugged.

"They want to buy me drinks and dance with me and talk to me and Daniel and Teal'c really want to take me home." Her eyes were fixed on the door, which was, for the moment, silent and somehow more threatening.

Jack's frenzy calmed the slightest bit. "Carter, you do realize that's what goes on in clubs, right? The women wear tiny little skirts and pretend not to be interested in the guys buying them drinks and asking them to dance."

Sam swallowed hard. Ostensibly, Jack was right. Getting noticed by members of the opposite sex was pretty much why Diane had dragged her out. Getting noticed by members of the opposite sex was pretty much why Sam had objected to the measures Diane had taken regarding her wardrobe. She tried to shake off her beer goggles long enough to figure out if maybe she'd simply overreacted to normal attention. And then another voice sounded at the door, insistent and upsetting. "You don't understand, sir. This isn't normal."

"Are you wearing a tiny little skirt, Carter?"

Sam winced, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the new voice at the door or the fact that she had to answer Jack's question. She looked down, horrified at how much shorter the skirt seemed when she was sitting down. "Yes, sir."

"Are you sure you aren't overreacting to someone hitting on you?" As much as it pained Jack to admit the possibility, he knew several billion men would be extremely interested in Sam's ridiculously long legs peeking out from a ridiculously short skirt.

And then another voice sounded.

"Carter, is that Teal'c?" The voice was muffled, but it was unmistakable.

"Yes, it is."

"Is he demanding that you open the door so he can kiss you?"

"Yes, he is."

Jack put his foot to the floor, returning to his previous state of panic. "I'm almost there, Carter. Sit tight." As mean as he realized it might be, he hung up. He couldn't listen to his friend harassing his Sam. He'd have a stroke long before he could rescue her.

Sam rested her head against the wall and tried to think. Jack was on his way and she knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Se was even reasonably sure the fragile door would hold out until then. Her real fear, one she couldn't find a way around, was that Jack would be affected by whatever had gotten into the other guys. It wasn't that she thought he would hurt her; she knew he wouldn't. It was that he wouldn't have to because she knew she'd never tell him no, especially not drunk and scared.

But it was more than that too. Stupid as it was, Sam was sure the love potion was to blame for the mishap. Sam had gone out to clubs before, even wearing the same sort of much-protested skirt and makeup and she'd never received anywhere near the amount of attention she was currently garnering. So if she was to believe the magic potion was to blame, she had to also believe that claim that the man who truly loved her wouldn't be affected. And therefore, if Jack showed up and fell under the potion's spell, Sam would be faced wit the fact that he wasn't really her true love and, all things being equal, that wasn't something a drunk woman was particularly well-equipped to face.

As intimidating as the pounding and shouts of love were and as foreboding as the moments of silence in between were, Sam was considerably more frightened by the restrained, normal knock she heard. Her heart pounded in her chest. It had to be him. "Sir?"

"Carter, what the hell is going on?" His voice was welcome and soothing, but Sam didn't budge or respond. "Are you still in there?"

"Yes, sir." She wanted to run into his arms and cling to him until she sobered up and could pretend she didn't always want to run into his arms and cling to him. But she was terrified there was some safe distance to keep the potion from getting to him.

"There must be a hundred guys out here looking for you."

"Now you know why I'm scared."

"That must be some skirt you're wearing." He paused for a moment as he silently gloated that the amazing Samantha Carter called him when she got scared. "Well, I'm here now, so why don't you come out?"

"I'm scared."

"I'll protect you." He grinned smugly at the horde of men waiting for Sam, knowing that he was the one she wanted.

"I'm scared of you." She bit her lip, wondering if she could get in trouble for her words. "Sir."

"Why?"

"What if it's a sight thing? What if the minute you see me you want to fawn all over me?"

"Honestly, Carter, I kind of want to fawn all over you all the time."

Sam wasn't sure what to say, so she said nothing. She couldn't be sure he wasn't already showing signs of the spell.

"I'm sorry. That was completely inappropriate. Come on, let me take you home and you can file harassment charges against me in the morning."

"But what if you're affected by me the same way the other guys are?" Her voice was back to being small and weak and she hated it.

"Seriously, Carter, it may have been inappropriate, but it was true. Trust me, there's no chance in hell you'll ever see me not affected by you. I was affected by you the first time I laid eyes on you." Jack really hated the fact that he had to make such a confession and it was only exacerbated by the fact that he had to confess it through a door and not to her face.

Sam grinned at the door. Secure in their feelings for each other or not, it was nice to hear. "Are you sure?"

"It's very important that you come out here before you sober up and remember I said that. You should get flowers or a ring or something at the very least for listening to me."

Sam giggled as she stood up. She allowed herself the indulgence of wiping clean the smudges of eye makeup that had run from her tears. Then she fixed her hair and straightened her skirt. She turned the latch and eased open the door the slightest bit. "Sir?"

His face was warm with a familiar smile for all of a second. Then his brain processed the amount of makeup she was wearing and just how big it made her eyes look and his own eyes widened in response. And then he remembered that she'd admitted to wearing a tiny little skirt and his stare dropped to the floor, tracing an unbelievably long expanse of leg that was exposed before he finally saw what would probably grow up to be a whole skirt some day. Ever so slowly, his eyes worked their way up her torso, trying to burn the image into his head. Between the short skirt and the spaghetti straps he was seeing more of Sam at once than he'd ever seen. And coupled with the makeup, he knew it wasn't a look he'd ever get to see again. He wanted to remember it perfectly. He wanted to enjoy it.

Sam expected him to notice, but she hadn't expected that much appreciation. It didn't even occur to her that Jack may well have responded the exact same way without any magic potion. It only occurred to her that he'd reacted the same way all the other guys had. Her heart broke in that instant, the pain paralyzing her.

The admiring crowd, which had hardly been patiently waiting for her, surged forward to get to her. In their haste, they shoved Jack forward, quite unexpectedly, into Carter.

She shrieked and jumped back, realizing that she was in danger since the adoration of the men had only intensified since she'd hidden herself away. Jack moved with her, using all of his strength to force the door closed behind him on the crowd. He turned back to her, ready to smile and make a smart ass remark about how getting him trapped in the bathroom with her had hardly done anything to help the situation. But the comment died on his lips as her stared at her.

Sam moved backwards, pressing herself against the wall. She felt like an idiot because deep down, despite her fears, she'd really expected that Jack would just be Jack and would save her. She hadn't done much planning on what to do if one of the ardent admirers locked himself in the bathroom with her. And even though it was Jack, the man she loved more than anything in the world, she was absolutely terrified.


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: This is a short piece, but the holidays always throw me for a loop in finding time to type up what I've written. I'm planning on one more part after this. Enjoy!_

Chapter Seven

Jack's blood ran cold in his veins. Nothing could have prepared him to see fear in Sam's eyes as she looked at him. "Carter, it's ok."

She didn't listen to his words. She was too scared. She continued trying to fuse with the wall, expecting Jack would advance on her at any moment.

He stayed where he was, even backing up a step to lean against the door. His eyes seemed to move of their own accord, taking in the full view of her rather than just what he'd been able to see through the crack in the door. "Wow."

Sam squeezed her eyes closed and whimpered. She cursed herself for drinking the potion. She cursed Janet fro telling her it was ok. She cursed Diane for buying it. She cursed Jack for falling for it. But even as she thought it, she realized he hadn't attacked her. Peeking with one eye, she saw him resting against the door. He was wearing a normal t-shirt and jeans, but he looked so incredible she wanted to drool and momentarily wished that he was going to jump her. But the thing she noticed was the way he was just staring, watching.

"That is certainly a very special skirt, Carter."

Blushing, Sam looked down, thoroughly amazed at the way one of her legs moved by itself to cross over the other at the ankle as though she was entirely comfortable with the way he was staring at her and wanted to encourage him to continue doing so. When she took another peek at him, through her downcast, mascara-thickened lashes, she saw his mouth drop open. She realized that it probably appeared very much like she was purposely trying to seduce him. In guilt and out of nervous habit, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it. She saw the veins start to bulge out of his neck and immediately realized that hadn't helped either.

"Carter, what are you doing?" His voice was breathy, barely controlled. It was taking all of his strength to stay away from her. He had enough trouble keeping his hands to himself when she wasn't trying to entice him. Only the shock at seeing her go from terrified to seductive without a moment's notice kept him still. The only thing that he could think of was that she was trying to play up to some naughty schoolgirl fantasy with the way she'd innocently crossed her legs, looked coyly up at him, and then worried her lip. The sight was exhilarating, damn near driving him completely insane. But truth be told, he didn't actually have a naughty schoolgirl fantasy and he was usually damn near crazy from wanting her. The fact that she was drunk and scared was working against the desire he felt for her.

She saw the darkness in his eyes. She saw the uncomfortable way he shifted around. She folded her arms across her chest, realizing too late that the stance puckered her tank top and displayed more than she'd intended. She heard his breath catch. "Damn it, I give up!"

Jack looked around and found nothing that could explain her words, except for the fervent hope she wasn't giving up on trying to flirt with him. "What?"

"I swear, I've had about as much male attention as I can take tonight." She turned toward the sink and leaned her forearms on it, promptly noticing that hiked her skirt up in back. "I'm not trying to seduce you, sir."

"Could have fooled me." His eyes were trained on the ground because it was infinitely less enticing than the lacy black garment peeking out from the tiny skirt that barely covered Sam's six.

"Everything I do looks wrong."

Their conversation was interrupted by Daniel's shout regarding the fact that Jack hadn't seen what was in front of him all that time and he should therefore relinquish his position at the front of the line. Jack stared at Sam while Daniel spoke until it got too embarrassing and his gaze returned to the floor.

"So, uh, yeah, there's definitely something going on here, Carter." Jack knew guys were interested in Sam, but she did work on a military base with mostly male coworkers without incident on a daily basis.

Sam's worried stare slowly morphed into a smile. "Sir?" She waited for his eyes to reluctantly lift to meet hers. "It's not affecting you, is it?"

Jack looked side to side and then narrowed his eyes at her. If she was talking about her appearance, she was dead wrong. He was just used to hiding how much he wanted to ogle her. But he doubted that was the question because he couldn't imagine Sam confronting him with something like that, and he couldn't imagine Sam confronting him with something like that because he knew she damn well knew the answer. He shook his head to clear it. "What's not affecting me?" He couldn't help but answer the question he knew she'd thought of, even if she hadn't asked it. "I may have you fooled, but that skirt is going to be starring in my dreams for years to come."

Rather than her typical faux annoyance at his flirtatious attempt, Sam beamed at him. "You're still acting like you."

"Who else would I act like?"

Just then a shout from a thankfully unrecognizable voice informed them in extremely graphic terms what he would do if he were locked in a bathroom with Sam.

Sam swallowed hard, trying to be embarrassed merely at the words rather than at the idea of Jack doing them. "Like a barbarian, sir."

Jack offered his cocky grin. "I've been called a lot of things in my day, but never barbaric."

Sam's smile lit up her whole face, but she said nothing. She just stood there, smiling at him.

"Carter?" Jack had never seen Carter smile quite like that in all the years he'd known her and he would have found it disconcerting, except that he really, really did enjoy seeing her so happy, particularly when she seemed so very happy for something he'd done, or apparently, failed to do.

Se smiled so hard tears came to her eyes. Or, really, the tears could well have been blamed on the drunken flow of emotion that poured through her. And then she listened to that voice, that one that only have the nerve to speak when she was completely drunk, that one that tended to suggest the most ridiculous things. And for some unfathomable reason, at least to her, that voice made a suggestion that she wholeheartedly agreed with.

Sam pushed off the counter, crossed the distance between them and, with the help of a few extra inches the silly shoes gave her, threw her arms around his neck. Sam had never been one for openly affectionate displays, but hugging Jack and burying her face in the hollow between his shoulder and his neck seemed more inviting that she could have resisted.


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: Here's the end... probably in more ways than one. I'm taking a hiatus from writing for a while because the ideas aren't coming to me and since RDA left, I've barely been interested in the show. Thanks to everyone who's left comments and shared their thoughts. I never say never, so I may be back at some point. With that said, enjoy!_

Chapter Eight

Jack stood there dumbfounded for a long time. He'd run across a lot of firsts that evening which he'd never seriously considered possible - getting a call from a drunk Sam, seeing Sam in a miniskirt, having Sam beg him to rescue her, and then getting a hug from Sam - all in all it was rather upsetting. And it wasn't a gentle hug either. She was nearly squeezing the life out of him with her grip. In that moment, he realized that hugs weren't supposed to be one-sided. E finally moved his arms in a way that seemed more familiar and natural than it should have, returning her tight embrace and fitting her body snugly against his.

She was taller that normal and so it was much easier for him to bury his face in her hair. Being so close to her, he lost the awful smell of the bar and the alcohol - he only smelled her, a scent that was more intoxicating in its own right. His arms held her as tightly as she held him; his palm pressed against her lower back to hold her secure. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling, in the embrace, in the undeniable reality that she really did love him.

Sam's state of sobriety, or lack thereof, delayed her immediate reaction, which was a good thing because she was just starting to panic that he hadn't returned her hug when his arms finally closed around her. Sober, she would have never made such a bold move. Luckily, she wasn't sober and therefore had no qualms with revealing how very pleased she was to discover that Jack really was her true love.

She loved every moment of the embrace, the possessive way his hand felt on her back, the gentle feeling of his other hand in her hair, the tender way he nuzzled her ear as he allowed himself to show what he felt for her.

They stayed that way, locked in an intimate embrace, until their arms actually started to feel fatigue from holding on so tight. Even still, Jack only relaxed a little and that was only because he knew she wasn't going anywhere.

"Carter, as much as I appreciate the hug, and really, I do, I'm kind of curious about it."

The happiness and the alcohol had made a secret pact that remained concealed until her words spilled out, quite unexpectedly to the tiny, rational part of her brain that was still quasi-functional. "The potion didn't work on you." She wanted to be horrified that she'd actually said that, but instead she only smiled over the veracity.

Unfortunately, such ridiculous words did not sit well with Jack, certainly not from his normally sane second-in-command while she was doing something so terribly out of character as clinging to him in the first place. He pulled back, prying her arms free of him. "What are you talking about?"

"Diane bought this stupid little joke potion and Janet told me it was safe, but it wasn't safe and apparently it wasn't a joke either." She tried to envelope him in another hug, but he held her hands firmly at her sides.

"Carter, what the hell did you drink tonight?" He wasn't sure he believed something she drank could affect every man, except for him, who came in contact with her, but he also wasn't sure he wanted to come down on the Sam's-been-body-snatched side of the coin either. Plus, he figured, some exotic, illegal substance would go a long way toward explaining why Sam was stark raving mad.

"Janet said it was sugar and food coloring, so I drank it. I mean, Diane's was supposed to get her a rich husband and Janet's was supposed to attract many lovers, so it's not like I had any sort of faith that it was going to work, but it did. There is no other reasonable scientific explanation for what happened."

"Other? As in you think a potion is a reasonable scientific explanation?" Jack stared hard at her. She looked like Sam. Sort of, at least. She talked like Sam. Provided he ignored the fact that she was talking about some kind of potion. If he were pressed, he'd swear that she was Sam. And yet, she wasn't dressed like Sam and she wasn't really talking like Sam and nothing she'd done that evening particularly smacked of Samness. The conundrum was too difficult for him to figure out quickly. He wasn't sure he'd be able to figure it out slowly either.

So he let himself get distracted. There Sam was, in from of him, fighting to get her arms free so she could wrap them around him. A thought which regrettably lead him right back to the conundrum. "Who are you and what have you done with my Carter?"

Sam grinned happily, not even caring that he didn't believe it was her. "Your Carter?"

Jack blushed. "My Carter or regular Carter. Take your pick."

"I prefer your Carter, Jack."

Jack grimaced. "Which clearly indicates that you aren't my Carter, now doesn't it?"

She tried to understand him, but his words made about as much sense to her as hers normally did to him. She shook her head and found the happy smile instantly reappeared. "It didn't work on you!" She stopped trying to get out of his grasp and just watched him, content that he was still in physical contact with her.

He was certain that Sam had left out a vital piece of information and he found himself mentally sorting through all the crap he'd heard to figure out what was missing. Surprising himself, he did find it. "Carter, what was your potion supposed to do?" Cause somehow he suspected the goal wasn't to have Sam harassed into hiding in the bathroom. A potion for that probably wouldn't sell.

The martini and beer buzz faded ever so slightly in the face of admitting her folly to Jack. She looked down. Her voice was quiet, not nearly as proud of her words as she would normally have been had she been reporting any other information. "It was love potion."

Jack cycled through a hundred emotions in the space of five seconds. He was excited and nervous and eager and worried and happy and hurt and everything else he could name. But mostly, he was amused. "Love potion?"

Sam couldn't meet his eyes. "I haven't seen Diane in fifteen years. She bought it as a joke."

Jack grinned as his hands found her chin, tilting her face up to his. "And what exactly was the purpose of your love potion?" Sadly, when he thought about it, love potion would actually explain the Don Juans vying for Sam's attention.

Sam closed her eyes, unable to meet Jack's stare when eh was obviously laughing at her. "It was supposed to make everyone love me."

Jack dropped his hands and took a deep breath. "Mission accomplished." Shooting a glare at the door that was pounding behind him, he chuckled. "Hate to break it to you, but you got yourself into this one, hon."

Sam's embarrassment quickly into giddiness that he'd used a pet name for her and just as quickly turned into irritation that he'd used a pet name for her while he was making fun of her. The only way she could get even was to drop the other shoe she'd been holding back on her pompous CO. She grinned maniacally at him. "There was supposedly only one person who wouldn't be affected by it."

Jack suspected that she was about to get him back for laughing at her, but he didn't know how it was possible or how to avoid it. "Which is me, apparently."

Sam's gloating smiled disappeared behind a real smile. "Only my true love isn't affected because he already loves me."

Jack's eyes were wide as he processed the words and their meaning and her glee that he was affected. "Which is why you were so glad that I was acting normal."

Sam nodded.

"Which is why you were so afraid I wouldn't act normal."

Sam nodded.

"Which is why you hugged me."

Sam nodded.

"Which means I'm your true love."

Sam didn't bother to nod. She pulled him close for another hug.

He turned his head to whisper in her ear. "Sweet." And then he turned his head further, capturing her lips under his.

Several intensely enjoyable minutes later, Sam came up for air and eyes the quiet door suspiciously. "We're probably going to have to leave here eventually." Just the thought unnerved her, so she bent a few laws of physics and managed to move a smidge closer to Jack. She liked being able to snuggled up to him when she was scared. "They don't seem to be trying as hard. Maybe it's wearing off?"

Jack held her tight. "How long is it supposed to last?"

Sam was so surprised that she pulled back to look at him. "It wasn't even supposed to work at all!"

"But it did." He settled his arms around her waist.

"Apparently." She discovered she really liked conversing with Jack when his arms were around her.

"So how long is it supposed to last?"

"I don't know."

Jack pulled her close once again, teasing her lips with his. "I guess we'll just have to stay here for a while."

Sam grinned at him. "How on Earth will we pass the time?"

"You'll think of something. You always do." He brushed his mouth softly over hers, gently tugging at her bottom lip.

"Only after you give me a brilliant idea." Her arms slid around his neck, anchoring his lips to hers.

At some point, the potion did wear off and the men abandoned their camp at the door, but Jack and Sam didn't notice for a long, long time.


End file.
